welcome back to werewolf house – Arbor day edition

Tis the season for trees and you know what that means, yep that's right, Werewolf House is back and mustier than ever. Please enjoy this image of a tree I put here on my website in celebration of Arborror Day the horrible day of trees. This time, the forest is the house.


Previously on Werewolf House...

In a far too complicated ending no one saw because it was very hard to get to...

You escape the Werewolf House!


What's this?


That's right you are an astronaut on a different planet, the werewolf planet where the moons give extra wolf powers.


The moons are being covered up oh no


Yep, there's 2 twists, you are actually a werewolf astronaut who got bit by a human.


OK now everyone's up to speed. You fucked up so much in the Werewolf House that you werewolf brothers exiled you to the scary Werewolf Forest where monsters live and now you too dumbass. What now?

You venture further into the dank mossy woods, and who do you see? Why it's the Big Foot himself, the Squashsquatch! A fuckin Skunk Ape. Would have been funny to ask him if he wanted to take a hit off your skunk vape but you didn't think of that, you're not as funny as me.

Instead he swipes at you with his hands which are not as big as his feet.

You have to escape his large hairy attacks, but how? How???

Bigfoot seems to be aware of your plan to bite him. He sticks out his foot as if to say "please don't make me do this stupid website anymore. I'm so tired. The music didn't really turn out like I hoped it would. Just end it, let me be free." 

The Saskatchewatch shouldn't be so hard on himself though. It's turning out ok, you think. I mean certainly as good as last time you had your werewolf adventure. Who's to say how good that was though. 

Anyway you're so conflicted you bite the Big Foot itself just to keep the story moving. OH no yep it's just as you feared. The bigfoot transforms into a regular human with relatively small feet--but a fairly large penis. Not sure how that worked out but everyone knows the first rule of Werewolf House is to expect the unexpected.

The dude is mad as hell at you now and wants to kill you. How will you escape?

You duck into a hole in a tree and before you could get to whatever disgusting thing you were hoping to do inside there, you start tumbling down a large hole. 

You land at the bottom with a thud, right on your juicy rump.

Surrounding you is a whole village of tiny houses, and in each house is a bunch of freaky gnomes. I mean these things are so freaky.

They're taking biiiig pulls off their freaky gnome pipes. A bunch of them surround you and are trying to get you to take a hit off the pipe. So what do you think? You gonna do it? 


You run away and open up the big werewolf house door. You slam it behind you and just as you're about to catch your damn breath for once on this god damn website--oh jeez! You get attacked by a lot of the gifs I used last time. There aren't as many bad werewolf gifs out there online as you might think. I mean there is a lot but not enough. It's never enough, that's the curse of the Werewolf House.

Anyway you start running into the house and you hurt yourself on a nail. Yeeeouch! Good going dipshit.

The werewolves of the Werewolves House are pissed off at you for turning into a human and running amok in their beautiful home. You try and tell them that it's this shitty fleshy body you are in but... something happens.

You feel weird... It's like your feet are concrete. And your eyes are... windows??

That's right when you cut yourself on the nail that was actually the house biting you.

The house ITSELF is a werewolf and now you turned into a house. 

Some lightning comes by and hits you and you catch on fire and the wolves are happy. 

you became a house and then died, idiot

Come on everyone knows you don't disrespect the gnome culture like that, these guys take their . But hey, they gotta give it up. You're a person that sticks to their principals and that's rare out here in the werewolf house forest where people will do anything to make a god damn dollar, you know?

The main gnome guy respects your courage so much he beckons you inside his home. You gotta crouch down but hey why not maybe he's gonna give you some money or something, right? Worth it to check out.

Turns out it's something even more valuable than money. It's true love. He introduces you to his daughter who is the most beautiful gnome in all the land. You both fall quickly and deeply in love.

You live a blissful and happy life with your new bride until one day your dumbass son leaves the stove on and burns down the tree, killing you and all the gnomes inside.

Your Shitty son messed things up, great going. you died.